Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...

  (435): View more from Utah

  A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?

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  (801): Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah... (435): A message to Mrs Obama perhaps? http://tfl.nu/yprl
  Replies (8) Good night (1225) Bad night (599)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1555) Bad night (526)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have so much to learn from you, wise slut

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  (812): Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!" (219): I have so much to learn from you, wise slut http://tfl.nu/eyww
  Replies (20) Good night (3798) Bad night (897)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex

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  (864): bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex http://tfl.nu/q1ec
  Replies (52) Good night (1578) Bad night (7146)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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  (724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95
  Replies (46) Good night (1483) Bad night (15471)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So many bounce houses so little time

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  (860): So many bounce houses so little time http://tfl.nu/tcx2
  Replies (6) Good night (3601) Bad night (770)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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  (519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5
  Replies (11) Good night (1766) Bad night (3675)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.

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  (508): he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/n2tk
  Replies (4) Good night (1883) Bad night (836)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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  (765): If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs. http://tfl.nu/un7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1634) Bad night (673)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.

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  (843): To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming. http://tfl.nu/2tij
  Replies (6) Good night (3234) Bad night (853)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."

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  (+27): She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga." http://tfl.nu/sbmz
  Replies (13) Good night (1987) Bad night (841)
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  (818): View more from California

  I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around

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  (818): I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around http://tfl.nu/btrv
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (771)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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  (434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv
  Replies (7) Good night (376) Bad night (1000)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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  (347): My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted http://tfl.nu/iwx2
  Replies (4) Good night (1779) Bad night (389)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....

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  (406): And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night.... http://tfl.nu/0vfo
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (264)

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