Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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