I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.