Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
