I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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