Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I am absolutely hammered

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  (248): It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now (248): I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!! (248): I am absolutely hammered http://tfl.nu/lexm
  Replies (2) Good night (2044) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Not half as good looking as paul

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

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  (248): That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul (313): Not half as good looking as paul (248): I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge http://tfl.nu/0tcw
  Replies (5) Good night (1046) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"

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  (815): my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway" http://tfl.nu/9cdg
  Replies (36) Good night (3688) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

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  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1250) Bad night (2772)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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  (573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls. http://tfl.nu/v89m
  Replies (38) Good night (1643) Bad night (4068)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (161) Good night (2323) Bad night (36190)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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  (337): i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out. http://tfl.nu/6suh
  Replies (169) Good night (1913) Bad night (20612)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

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  (562): I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/qbx3
  Replies (10) Good night (3496) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

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  (903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx
  Replies (8) Good night (2504) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?

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  (514): I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!? http://tfl.nu/cwiy
  Replies (16) Good night (930) Bad night (2201)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.

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  (682): She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels. http://tfl.nu/oykt
  Replies (12) Good night (1100) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

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  (209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.

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  (404): He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer. (404): In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ays
  Replies (16) Good night (473) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.

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  (919): There is an alarming amount of food in my bra. http://tfl.nu/bxub
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.

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  (619): my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder. http://tfl.nu/2kgi
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (252)

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