So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
