I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
