U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Let's get the cat blown out
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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