This is not my ceiling
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
