I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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