On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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