Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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