Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
