I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
