She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it penis luge time yet?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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