Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize