Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
