it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
