Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
