Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
