It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
