Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can I color on your dick again?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
