When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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