My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think your dad took our porno
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize