Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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