all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
