sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
thus making me awesome and them whores
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
is it fun? or sober?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
