He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
