Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
