get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
