i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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