the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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