I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
