Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
