what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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