he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
