I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
