i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
