No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
