I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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