4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
