you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
