I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
