I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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