Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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