Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
