he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
