So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
