turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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