To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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