We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
