The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
