Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My pussy is not your playground.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
