hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
