I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
