he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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