I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
