youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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