I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
