Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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