It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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