the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
