none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
