Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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