I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
