He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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