My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just invented taco cereal.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
