Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
