i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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