Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Drake has all the answers
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
