It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
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are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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