carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
