Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
