Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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